I was going to write about the subtle difference between self-consciousness as a teen or early Twenty something year old and the lack of this as a 30 something year old. But I'll leave that for a later day.
Then I was going to write about learning to keep my emotions in check while appearing as though I'm not keeping my emotions in check, But I'm not sure there's enough to make a decent lengh post for that.
Instead I'd simply illustrate a result of both with a situation that occured earlier today.
And while I'm doing that, I'd find a not-so depressing way of sneaking ECG (the so-called, Electricity company of Ghana) into at least one post of mine. Or people might think I don't live in Ghana.
The silver lining in having an ECG that screws up as bad as it does, is the fact that we now have a point of reference when you need to explain to a service provider with 'technical diffficulties' the difference between an 'Act of God' and an 'Unpardonable fug-up'
Take today for instance.
I get into the bank to cash a cheque. Now, saying I DETEST banks in Ghana would as much an understatement as saying the Rwandan genocide was 'a bit of bad business'
So we get in there, and my partner on the project had to be at some version of an STC station by 10 (This station closes at 12 or something). The cheque needed a screenshot of my invoice (Auditing), and I needed to give them a name to call at their Labone branch in case things went south with that. So much for the internet and the so-called centralized banking shtick.
That got done, and I was told to take a seat -- which I did... for an HOUR. Within this time, I joined the line several times to find out what the hold up was.
Now, in my personal opinion, unless you're processing payroll for a small country or doing bank clearing after a particular busy day, I can't see why any banking process (void of human diddling) should take close to that long.
The standard answer I kept getting was, "Please be patient. It's in the system", what ever the fug that means.
Finally, I decided to try a well-tested system I have but rarely use; Making a scene.
The thing is, Ghanaians, being Ghanaians (i.e. pusillanimous in nature, by balance of probability) don't like scenes. Especially the oh-so-cultured Ghanaian staff of banking halls.
So much so, they may be tempted to sort you out real quick if you ever did such a thing.
My partner was antsy. He might miss his next appointment. There were serious cost implications. And the cause of his problems was sitting on her chubby behind laughing at some joke her fellow teller was making.
That can't be right.
I could go with the standard process of explaining the problem REALLY loud, but this is a subtle art. A wrong turn could have the security usher you out. And I'm kinda rusty at the subtlety thing.
So I went straight for the jugular.
It begun with, "You know you're starting to operate like ECG, right?".
I said this at the rather boorish distance of 15m, ensuring the teller could hear me; as could every customer between where I stood and where she sat. And since I'm no expert with throwing my voice, so could her boss a few feet behind her.
He cut a dashing figure in his tailor-made gray suit. I hadn't taken a bath yet (Don't judge), and my shirt had creases and a grease stain from the last time I wore it (Ok, that you can judge, but don't milk it)
Seated, I estimated his height at about 6 ft, and he was quite solidly built. With that, and the good 7inches he had over me, things could go differently, if he chose to use it. But would he? This was after all, the variable in my strategy.
He did a spasmodic half-turn and back again as he heard my comment, deciding (in typical pusillanimous fashion) to act like he hadn't heard, in case things went really raw. Instead, he focused intently on his screen, as though he were keeping his computer from flying off his desk through telekinesis.
It took me about a second to decide that there would be no cavalry coming. So emboldened, I took a step forward, drawing for the prey a vivid comparison between my waiting for an indefinite amount of time for service with waiting for ECG after 12 (Or is that 24 hours?) in darkness.
Ah, she got that, immediately. Of course she did! More importantly, so did everyone else is ear shot, which was pretty much everyone in the banking hall.
Suffice to say my cheque was cashed in 30 seconds flat (Well, one hour and 30seconds, and who is counting?). The money handed over with envelope, my ID and a courtesy glare of unspeakable death, that I hear is supposed to causes cancer or something.
My partner will make the 12 middy deadline, and I have a new, albeit crude tool added to my repertoire.
Now I'm not a picky person, but it begs the question; Is this REALLY what needs to be done to get decent service in Accra?
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